Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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