Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
