she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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