I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
