do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize