just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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