so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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