Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize