This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
