what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize