Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
