Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize