I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize