IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
