Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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