I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
