Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
