it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
