Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
even my farts smell like vagina
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize