dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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