we made out on top of his cat.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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