We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
