Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
