loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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