Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
