mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
