marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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