How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
