From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
