At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I supernannyed him into submission
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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