Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can you bring me the toilet please
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
