Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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