what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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