I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize