I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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