i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
