I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize