Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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