If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
