hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
