I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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