im drinking this country out of the recession.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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