my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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