ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize