She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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