Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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