Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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