I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We're too hungover to prance.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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