only if we run a train.
done.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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