All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We are two peas in an std pod
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So much rum. So many feels.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
