Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
