She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
