I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize
