Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
