I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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