they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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