i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
