remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize