I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
