i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
