My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
