I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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